Tuesday, March 27, 2012

New Mama Must-Haves

When a woman is expecting a baby, she's flooded with information about her impending mommyhood. Some of it highly pertinent (think infant CPR) while others are completely obnoxious. The biggest falacy pushed on women during pregnancy is the stuff {I would say crap but then I wouldn't be a lady} that we're told we need.
With my first pregnancy, I avoided this in two ways: being borderline broke so that we could only afford the necessities and having my friend Heather, who had a baby 10 months prior to reed's birth, help me with my baby registry.
This go-around I knew what I needed. Sure, baby 2 is a whole new gender but really until you have to make that all-important decision between Dora and Diego, there isn't much that's different about baby boys and girls. 

According to the registry builders at Target and Babies R Us, my new child is severely lacking in nearly every area of baby gear. Target's website goes so far as to give me 'warnings' about the lack of items on my registry whenever I log in. 

New moms, before you get overwhelmed over what will happen if all 1358 items on your registry aren't bought before you deliver, here's my simple list of things you actually need.

A pack-n-play
Listen, I know how sweet the teeny tiny cradles for newborns are, trust me. But if you want the most bang for your buck, you'll go with me on this one. The two biggest things your pack-n-play should have are a changing table feature and the bassinet feature. Your little one can sleep in it while she's an infant, play as an older baby and pile toys in it until you finally put it in the closet when she's a toddler.


A swing/bouncy chair/vibrating chair
This one is tricky because not all babies are created equal. Reed loved his swing nearly as much as he loved my boobs for the first 8 months of his life. We also had one of the vibrating infant chairs that he was fairly fond of, though he would rather be held. You don't always know what your baby will like {and sometimes they hate the swing as newborns but love it once they hit 3-6 months} so my advice here is to buy on consignment, or better, borrow one.

 A Car Seat & A Stroller (but not necessarily a travel system)
I'm all for holding/wearing your baby {it's not essential but especially for nursing mamas, I recommend a sling} but there are times where you need to be able to push your baby around in a stroller. I say not necessarily a travel system because sometimes the strollers in the prepackaged duos are bulky, hard to maneuver and don't necessarily add any storage space. Test them out pre-baby; if you can't collapse it one-handed and get it into your car, it's not worth your time.  

A boppy pillow (or similar nursing pillow)
Even if you're not going to breastfeed, this is worth the investment. You never know how long it will take your baby to eat and whether they're six or sixteen pounds, your arms can get tired. Plus they're great for a resting baby or for tummy time.


A bumbo seat
This may not be essential for some moms but for me, with reed, I loved this thing. When he was awake for more hours in the day and had the neck support thing down, it was a great way for me to get a few things done hands free, while still chitterchattering about his toes with him. 

Things like a $70 contraption specifically for dirty diapers and a wipe warmer {never get these, i was thankful to know from babysitting years that they dry out the wipes and run up your electricity bill} are things that you'll likely be told to by but trust me, save your money. 


Any must-have baby gear that I left off, mamas?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

7 Things Not to Say to a Mom Under 25

I came across a Babble.com blog post on 7 things you should never say to a first time mom over 40.  Even though that's not my mommy age bracket, I can safely say it's an accurate list. But it got me thinking of all the thing people {strangers} have said to me as a young mom and hence here's my list.

1. Was he planned?
You can't plan perfection.
Um, does it matter? I got this one tons during my first pregnancy and when Reed was an infant. Now that I'm pregnant with number 2, I've gotten "well, was this one planned?" and the ever classy "Don't you know what causes that?" At this point, I just smile and tell them I'm trying to catch up with The Duggars.

2. Are you married?
Amazingly, even though I'm married now, this question still seems just as rude. And when I wasn't, and said 'No, I'm not' the looks of pity were maddening. The implication that since I'm a mother all I wanted was for a man to come marry me was ridiculous.

side note: the white trash version of this question {which I've also gotten} is 'did your baby daddy stick around?'

3. I could never have been a mom at your age.
This is usually followed by a list of reasons like 'I really needed those years' or 'My 20's were my happiest time' and 'I'm a better mom because I waited'
I can never tell if they're defending their own life choices or if they're extra stupid. Sadly, when I was a newbie mama and had all those postpartum hormones,  I used to get my feelings hurt and cry to Adam about the mean old ladies at the grocery store.

4. How old are you?
with Jana and Ellie on my 22nd birthday
How old are YOU, lady? Young mamas, take my advice and lie. It's extra funny if you go younger (I'll get my GED any day now, ma'am!)

5. How do you afford a kid at your age?
Can I see a copy of your W-2 also, nosy stranger?

6. Are you the nanny?
You JUST heard him call me mommy. Or aren't your hearing aids turned up? This is usually a backdoor beginning to a conversation about how old I am or to share pearls of wisdom on child-rearing to which, as a young mom, I'm most likely ignorant.

 this last one isn't exclusive to young moms but it's something someone said to me once that I've ALWAYS wanted to include in a blog post:

7. You're really breastfeeding because you're lazy & selfish.
She said it's 'easier' to nurse than to get out of bed to make a bottle and by nursing, I was depriving Adam of bonding time with reed since he was always attached to me.
I don't even have to explain or defend that one, right?

Anyone have any more? Mamas of all ages welcome!

Friday, March 23, 2012

mommy blogging, take two

In pregnancy, there's a concept called nesting where expectant mothers take time to prepare for the arrival of their upcoming child. Typically, there's lots of arranging of the nursery and tenderly folding tiny clothes but as I await the arrival of kiddo number two, albeit daughter number one, my nesting has turned to a social media project. I had a blog for almost two years, which I abandoned once my husband {Adam} and I decided to try and have another baby. In a fickle attempt at a new year's resolution, I claimed to begin blogging again but every time I went to update, I found myself frustrated with the lack of a digital brand in my blog. Was I a mom blogger? And if so, did I really need to tell people what television shows I was watching in the new spring lineup?  


Alas, I decided to start from scratch, this time definitively as a mommy blogger {who also has a marriage and a career in progress}. Childless friends, I understand if you stop reading now.
And if we're not friends and the magic of search engines & social networking has lead you to this budding blog, here's a little about me and the people you'll frequently find me writing about:


This is me:



and like I mentioned, I'm 36 weeks (9 months!) pregnant with our first daughter:


Okay, so this was at 35 weeks and 2 days. Close enough. 

Adam & Reed, the loves of my life. 

Ellie, my best friend. And yes, I'm smashed in this picture. I get a pass, it was my 21st birthday. 

Right now, i work in radio {Rocky on Q107.5 & 96.1} and have an awesome internship with the I Love Memphis blog. In my wildest dreams, this blog will chronicle the journey from radio DJ & intern to the social media goddess and author I think I should be, but then I've been told I suffer from delusions of grandeur on occasion.


If not, I hope to at least be vaguely entertaining while I muse on motherhood, career aspirations and being a 23 year old housewife.